Two and a Half Men - Season 1: Episode 7

Episode Title: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Air Date:

03 November 2003

Genre

Comedy

Episode Description

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

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Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

A Lungful of Alan

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Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

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Kissing Abraham Lincoln

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Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Fish in a Drawer

If My Hole Could Talk

Waiting for the Right Snapper

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Best H.O. Money Can Buy

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The Devil's Lube

Thank God for Scoliosis

I Think You Offended Don

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Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

For the Sake of the Child

Give Me Your Thumb

Untainted by Filth

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Warning, It's Dirty

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Yay, No Polyps!

Crude and Uncalled For (1)

Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)

Tinkle Like a Princess

I Found Your Moustache

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

I Called Him Magoo

Gumby with a Pokey

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Springtime on a Stick

A Good Time in Central Africa

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

Dead from the Waist Down

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Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

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Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

People Who Love Peepholes

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Nine Magic Fingers

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

The Squat and the Hover

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Thank You for the Intercourse

Frodo's Headshots

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

What a Lovely Landing Strip

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Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

A Possum on Chemo

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Not in My Mouth!

The War Against Gingivitis

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Why We Gave Up Women

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

A Big Bag of Dog

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

Ferrets, Attack!

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

Something My Gynecologist Said

I Scream When I Pee

One Nut Johnson

Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Welcome to Alancrest

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Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

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The 9:04 from Pemberton

Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

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Nangnangnangnang

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

This Unblessed Biscuit

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

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Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

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West Side Story

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A Chic Bar in Ibiza

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